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Post by charlotte on Aug 25, 2012 8:51:57 GMT -5
ash’s flat. sure, she’d been there countless times before but this time it was so different. her head was spinning, eyes weary and blurry, as she leant against ash for support as they stood outside as he looked for his keys to unlock the place. but it wasn’t just looking different, but the whole situation felt different. it wasn’t like she ever came over unless they were going to sleep together. usually it was her helping him; he was usually so drunk that she’d help him unlock the door. a bit of role reversal was going on. but the fact that they weren’t going to sleep together was what was weird about the whole situation. they never behaved like friends: they didn’t hang out, or just check up on how each other was doing. there was always some ulterior motive. but here they were now, just being together, he would look after her. it was so alien, and too much for a drunken bea to comprehend, so she remained leaning against him, just expecting him to guide her inside. she was so wobbly that walking was a challenge for her. bloody jaeger bombs.
hand grasping ash’s arm, she stepped out of her wedges, the bare ground freezing cold beneath her feet. tripping and breaking an ankle was not something she wanted right now. bending to retrieve her shoes, she then leant against ash again, her head on the top of his arm. “ashton frey. you are a beeeeeeeautiful man. you know that. do you? do you?” and this was why bea didn’t let herself drink too much. the government should just record her and use her as an advert for responsible drinking. the girl was such an embarrassment. she wouldn’t be surprised if ash relentlessly teased her about her behaviour tonight for years to come. “oh ash, my feet are so so so tired. they say they don’t want to walk anymore. they really are saying that.” she had one arm around his waist, her whole body mass pretty much leaning on him. she would owe ash so much in the morning. she would’ve probably just gone home with some guy if he hadn’t offered to take her home, and then wake up in the morning, stupidly hungover and stupidly lost.
“you know what would be fun?” her voice was slightly muffled, spoken into his arm. “if we built a huge fort, out of cushions and blankets and stuff, and we slept in that, and we can pretend we’re children again, and we don’t have anything to worry about.” actually, sleeping anywhere was fine by bea. she was so sleepy that she’d gladly just take the floor. her words were so slow, as though the effort of thinking about what she wanted to say was so great. at this rate, ash would probably just dump her in a spare room, glad to get away from her drunken antics. god, she owed him big time.
tagged;; callie words;; 494 notes;; here we go!
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Post by callie on Aug 26, 2012 0:40:31 GMT -5
so here they were now - at least the night hadn't been a total waste. what had begun as a night out to forget bea, had ended in ash picking bea up and taking her back to his place. he wasn't complaning, not at all. it was odd though, almost as though some unknown force was keeping them tied together so they couldn't be away from each other for two long. it hadn't been long since they fought, not long at all, and here they were again. happiness? sure, he was feeling that, but an mask of guilt overwhelmed all of his other feelings. was he using bea? maybe he should have just let her go back to her parents house, she was so drunk right now she probably wouldn't even remember where she was in the morning. shit, he was kind of using her. he was doing this to make her forgive him, but he had done it without even thinking. in reality, he was just trying to help her, but his mind got the best of him and twisted things around.
her feet apparently didn't want to walk anymore, that's what she was saying. yeah, he couldn't hold any of this against her, she wouldn't remember a thing. maybe he should just duck out in the morning, make her think she wound up here on her own without any help. she mentioned forts, which he gladly agreed to, but he doubted she would be asleep long enough to get one pillow off of the couch even. after what seemed like ages of bea's body weight leaning up against him, he managed to find his keys and turn them shakily into the lock. he grabbed her by her waist and slowly guided her inside slowly so she didn't fall. he shut the door with his foot, and locked it quickly without even turning away from her. this scenario had happened many times before, but in any other case he would be leading her to his bedroom not the guests.
he brought her to the room and placed her gently on the bed, bringing the blankets up on top of her. he smiled at her softly, "need anything else, love?"
ooc: horrible, so sorry.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 26, 2012 9:10:33 GMT -5
after about eternity, ash unlocked the door and led her inside. she let him guide her, his hand on her waist. turning into an unfamiliar room, she raised her head. this wasn’t ash’s room. in fact, it was a room she had never even been in before. it was clean and unlived in. a guest’s room. so she was a guest now? she had gone from feeling so comfortable in his house, so much so that she would just wake up and put on his boxers and t-shirt and pad around his flat as though she belonged there, to now being shoved in the guest room. it was so impersonal, so unlived in. completely not what she was used to. as he lay her down and covered her up, she rolled onto to her side to face him. she was too tired to argue about the fact she was in the guest room, and so closed her eyes as she drew her knees to her chest. it was so comfortable and warm, and her eyelids were so heavy, but you fought them, opening her eyes to let them focus on ash’s face, a half-smile tracing her lips.
she shook her head at his question. she couldn’t ask him for anymore. he had taken her home, tucked her up in bed when he had no reasonability to do so. he didn’t need to look after her. he could’ve just refused, left her, and she would’ve had to accept it, knowing that she was no longer his burden. she was still surprised he had listened to her, even more so that he had pushed two girls off him in order to take care of her. did he still feel he had an obligation, or had he just changed into a nicer person? surely he couldn’t still have feelings for her after all that had happened. the whole situation was messy, and she wished they’d never attempted to cross the territory into relationship because then she’d still have him in her life. then she wouldn’t be in the guest bedroom.
“wait! there is one thing.” her voice was sudden, like she had been holding it back but finally convinced herself to say it. shit. what was she going to say. her attempt to stall him and get him to stay with her for longer were pretty see-through and not well thought out. “i don’t want to sleep alone, not tonight. would you mind sleeping here?” even her drunk mind knew this was a bad idea, but it was too late: the words were out of her mouth and she couldn’t take them back. would he laugh in her face and refuse? at least she always had alcohol as an alibi. she’d just say she was so drunk she didn’t have a clue what she was saying. even if he didn’t believe her, it was good enough to convince herself.
tagged;; callie words;; 489 notes;; wasn't horrible at all! silly callie
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Post by callie on Aug 27, 2012 0:02:07 GMT -5
it was kind of awkward, if ash was going to be honest, the fact that they were basically starting all over again, but on opposite ends. before, bea had to take ash home because he was so drunk he could hardly walk, and now the had switched roles. now bea was the one in distress, the girl who could always take care of herself needed someone's help, and of all people she had been stuck with ash. of course, he would try and help her, but it was difficult when he could barely take care of himself at this point. he attempting to do his best, but he felt as though he was failing miserably with her. he really didn't want to lose her.
when she offered for him so sleep with her, well how could he decline that? he nodded before stripping off to just his boxers, no sexual intentions at all, he just felt more comforatable that way. he slipped in next to her and then pulled her close so his nose was in her hair. "i'm sorry, for everything." it was all he could say really, but sorry meant nothing. especially after everything he had done to her. why did she trust him so much? why would she even ask him for help? it baffled him, but he was happy she had.
ooc: horrible, so sorry. for reals this time.. i'm just tired but i wanted to get something up for you.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 27, 2012 12:04:22 GMT -5
he nodded. well thank god. it would be impossibly humiliating for him to turn her down now. she’d probably just wait for him to go to bed and sneak out if that happened. oh wait, but with no money or phone she was going to go really far. because bea wasn’t the type of girl who usually asked guys for stuff, she let them ask her. playing hard to get was completely her style, and she always let guys make the first move. but here she was, asking ash to sleep with her. and it wasn’t like she wanted sex out of it, for once. she just wanted his company, to have the warmth of his body keeping her snug. but what were they going to do in the morning? it wasn’t like she could leave, pretend it hadn’t happened, or just go back to how they were. everything was seriously messed up, and bea hated not knowing where she stood. she felt the weight of the bed change slightly as he got in, pulling her closer. she laced her fingers with his, draping his arm over her body. this was what she wanted. just to sleep with him, in the literal, most innocent sense of the word.
his apology came suddenly, jogging bea’s groggy head. “s’fine.” she murmured back, her chest rising and falling so steadily, on the bring of sleep. she rolled over in one swift move, lying face to face with the boy. “actually, it’s not fine.” she didn’t sound angry, or bitter, or sad, but matter of fact, like she was merely discussing the weather. she shut her eyes, sighing. she needed to select her words carefully; getting your point across when you were drunk was practically impossible, and if she said this wrong she’d probably lose ash forever. “firstly, don’t ever even contemplate laying a hand on me again. i’ve got in catfights before, i’ll take you on too.” they had never addressed his behaviour, and she wasn’t going to let it go unsaid. sure, he hadn’t actually hit her, but the thought seemed to cross his mind, and she wasn’t going to stand for that. “and you don’t want to get in a fight with me; my guns could rival yours anyday.” she had to try and keep the tone not too heavy. hitting her wasn’t a jokey subject, but she wanted to avoid ash leaving her. “and i know you slept with bekah, but i must be a complete idiot because i still care about you. that’s so fucked up, isn’t it?” she laughed, rolling onto her back, eyes trained on the ceiling. she was still dressed in her clothes, and it was uncomfortable, but somewhere in her drunken mind she decided that was okay. “ash, i don’t know what to do, because you say you’re sorry, but i really can’t take you apologising any more. i’m so embarrassed that i even trusted you to be a good boyfriend. i just don’t even know.”
tagged;; callie words;; 501 notes;; ahhhhhhhhh!
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Post by ash on Aug 28, 2012 0:01:18 GMT -5
things were going great, they were snuggled up together ash feeling what he could only define as love for the other girl, and bea was probably feeling a drunken version of love. which meant she wasn't really in love at all, but ashton would take what he could get, and if drunk love was what he was getting he would be okay with that. he had messed up everything, and if he could get bea to lay with him, even just when she's drunk, he would be extremely happy. if she left him, he would be broken and probably wouldn't be the same for a while. no, he'd more than likely drink more and get into drugs, he had experimented with them after sabrina had left and he would do them again. they helped him forget about past heartbreaks and all that junk, they helped him to forget about everything. he hugged her closer, but she broke free to turn around and face him. he knew something serious was probably coming so he brought his arms back to himself because of the lack of warmth.
she had started off by saying everything was fine, which completely baffled ash. his confusion was put to rest though when she followed it up with a whole speech. he listened intently, nodding after everything she said and chuckling lightly at the whole cat fight thing. not that him almost hitting her was amusing, but now he was stuck there imagining what exactly bea would do in a fight and the images could bring him to tears. then she said she was fucked up, which was a total joke. she laughed and turned towards the ceiling, but ash stayed put with his eyes trained on her face. and then the final blow. he could she have trusted him to be a good boyfriend? it was absolutely incredible that she had even given him a chance, and he had went and screwed it up.
"well i proved tonight i only want you, didn't i?" he asked, he honestly didn't know what else to say.
ooc: really reallyt bad.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 28, 2012 12:14:20 GMT -5
she sighed, letting her lungs completely deflate, before rubbing her face. god, she was going to feel terrible tomorrow, having slept in a full face of make up. oh, and the fact that she consumed a hell of a lot of alcohol. she was going to feel disgusting in the morning. but to get to the morning she first had to get through tonight, get through sorting things out with ash. the room was spinning slightly, and if she didn’t throw up tonight she’d be extremely surprised. and if ash still stayed with her after that, well, he was probably a keeper. she rolled over onto her stomach, her head propped up by her hands, her eyes intently fixed on ash. or what she thought was his face, since it was pretty dark. this sort of conversation didn’t seem right to not be looking at him, she wanted to try and see his reactions. her eyes were squinted in the dark, trying to make out his familiar features.
tucking hair behind her ear, she contemplated what he said. “yeah but ash, you wanted me tonight because i was there. honestly, if i wasn’t there tonight, would there be a different girl in your bed tonight?” would he even be honest with her? she thought she at least deserved to be told the truth. but ash always seemed so charismatic, always able to talk his way out of a situation. but right now she didn’t want compliments to distract her from what was going on. “because you have to want me all the time, not just when i’m there.” and that was what she wanted, for him to still want her without her having to be with him. because right now it just felt like he forgot about her the moment she was gone, so easily replaced by other girls. and it really wasn’t worth sticking around if she didn’t mean that much to him. she shuffled a little closer to him, resting her head on his chest, her face facing his. one hand traced the side of his face, running through his hair, ruffling it up slightly. “i care about you so so much ash. i’m just not so sure how much that’s reciprocated.”
tagged;; callie words;; not enough notes;; i'm soso sorry; this is absolutely appalling
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Post by ash on Aug 28, 2012 17:04:01 GMT -5
he lay there waiting for her reply and listened intently as she sighed, deflating her whole body it seemed, before she rolled over onto her stomach and the form of her face turns toward his. he could hardly see her, but could make out her hair and the glint in her eyes from the open window. he was suprised she wasn't sick yet, with how much she had seemed to drink, and the fact that she was a total lightweight, that she wasn't hacking up all over the place. he was happy she wasn't, but damn she could keep her drinks down. he had watched even as she rubbed at her face, probably attempting to rub all of the makeup off, oh he knew how that went he hated the damn stuff, finally she tucked a hair behind her ear and began to speak.
of course the question caught him off guard, who wouldn't be caught off by something that deep. he contemplated lying to her before being downright honest with her. he had no more room for lies without losing her at this point, "i probably would have had a girl here tonight, yes. if it's all the same, if i didn't have a girl home with me i'd probably be so drunk i'd need my stomach pumped." he paused for a second, not sure how to respond for the second part. he didn't know how to describe to her just how much he wanted her, which was a lot, without sounding clingy or like an absolute idiot. he pursed his lips together quickly and tapped on his head to signify him thinking, she'd probably think it'd mean he was making up some sort of lie, which he was great at, but he honestly wasn't not this time. "bea, babe, i don't think you will understand just how much i always want you. i have for a while now, which is why i wanted us to get together, and when i'm with other girls i found myself thinking of you.. just.. i don't know how to show it. i think." part of that was a lie, the whole thing about thinking of bea during sex was a total lie, but it fit. no, he was too involved with how good it felt during the sex, but he did always find his thoughts drift to her afterwards, if he could remember that much afterwards. so he left her with that before she started to speak again.
her head rested onto his chest, and he wrapped an arm around her lower back pulling her closer.her fingers were on her face, then in his hair and he shut his eyes slightly enjoying it. at her last words he let out a huff in agreement before speaking himself, "i care so much about you too, bea. almost too much, i'm scared."
ooc: ok ish.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 30, 2012 7:38:31 GMT -5
he seemed to be being truthful, but she still had doubts in believing people. perhaps bea just had a complex, but she really hated putting faith in people. they always seemed to have ulterior motives, or something to get out of you. her lack of faith probably had some underlying cause, but she liked the way she was. independent. it was a positive word, and no one could criticise the fact that she could take care of herself and didn’t need someone else’s help. maybe it was unhealthy. a psychologist would probably say it was. but she was happy enough, and that was probably all that mattered. his words stung a bit. he probably would have a girl here tonight, if it wasn’t her. so she was replicable, by any female. it hurt. she had been under the impression that she meant a lot to him, that bekah was just a teeny slip up. but here it was again: someone else. he didn’t want her, he just wanted girls. any girl who would give him attention, and who wouldn’t? he was famous. girls who had no interest in him would sleep with him because he had that label. plus he was an attractive guy. even a girl didn’t have a clue who she was, they’d probably sleep with him just for his looks.
she sighed, moving her hand from his hair and back to his bare chest. her eyes closed, and she just lay there, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. it was so peaceful, just laying there with a fuzzy head, not having to think about anything. he wanted her, he said so himself. but then why did he also say if she wasn’t there another girl would be lying in bed in her place. it was so hypocritical. “well if you want me so bad, then why would you even bring another girl back here? why didn’t you fight for me?” she was at the risk of turning into an american soap, but she didn’t even care. she was so confused as to how he could just walk out on her, not get in touch, then say he wanted her but he’d gladly sleep with other girls. how many girls had he slept with since she’d last seen him? she didn’t even want to ask him, didn’t want to know the true number. she lifted her head up, putting her other hand underneath it, before laying her head back down. she lifted her head at his last words, looking at his face, her eyes drooped slightly with both tiredness and confusion. “you’re scared ash?” why? she wasn’t the one who would carry on going and sleeping around. “i’m terrified, ash. i don’t do this, i don’t get close to people, i don’t let them in. and now you’re asking me to, you have to prove to me that this is the right decision, ash.”
tagged;; callie words;; 489 notes;; aveeeerage. sozzlar it took so long
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Post by ash on Aug 31, 2012 0:30:35 GMT -5
ash always managed to talk himself into trouble. in grade school, as just even a little tike, he was a trouble maker and he would get away with stuff until he opened his big fat mouth. it seemed as though the trait would never leave him, because his blabbering was close to causing him to lose bea as well. shit, he couldn't do that, he couldn't lose her not after he had already lost sabrina. he hadn't had this feeling - love? - for ages now, ever since sabrina had left him and now he was going to lose another. he always chose the wrong words, he thought by being honest maybe she would forgive him, maybe understand, but it had taken a turn for the worst by any means. he sighed softly as she took her hand out of his hair and placed it onto his chest. he waited a few moments before speaking, this time trying to pick his words wisely.
"bea, i thought you were going to move on. y'know, if you can even move on from this type of thing. i don't know!" his yell was more of a gasp of air than anything else. he was screaming silently in his head. "i'm scared because the last time i felt any emotion for a girl like this, she fucking left me in the morning. i don't want that to happen again bea." there, there was the truth. he had come clean, everything wrapped back around to sabrina somehow. god, she was ruining his life. maybe bea could fix his faith though, unless she did leave him. he knew he deserved it, but he didn't think he could go through it again.
ooc: erggg.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 31, 2012 9:49:03 GMT -5
exasperated, bea let her head drop back onto ash’s chest, maybe a little to roughly. “sorry.” she murmured into his ribs. she didn’t want to talk, not seriously. she just wanted to waste hours chatting about frivolous things, like who their favourite member of the beatles was, and about the last dream they had. just things that didn’t really matter. but she couldn’t just run away from the conversation. she was a serial runner, always avoiding questions, denying the important talks. it was like smoking. she knew smoking was so disgusting and bad for her health yet she still did it. and she knew that things would get better if she just stopped at had proper conversations and sorted things out, but she always found ways to get out of them, and put them on hold. but here, right now, she doubted ash was going to let her just quit. someone people had to get things completely resolved before they could move on, but that was just not bea. she was more of a forgive and forget kind of girl - brush everything off with a laugh, get back to where they were. she hadn’t met anyone who it hadn’t worked on before, - even her parents had fallen for it when they tried to talk about her brother’s death. each time she had wriggled out of it, and it meant she never had to discuss the fact that he was really and truly gone.
but this just wasn’t the same. it felt like a situation she couldn’t just wriggle out of this time. plus it wasn’t like she could physically leave, - she had pretty much nothing on her. wandering off into london this late whilst intoxicated was practically suicidal. she let her fingers absent-mindedly walk up and down his bare arms, feeling pretty snug with the warm of his chest and one of ash’s arms on her lower back. “ash, i don’t want to talk about this anymore.” maybe if she openly admitted that she was trying to avoid the conversation, he’d let her get away with it. “i just don’t want to fight anymore.” she continued, her fingers stopped walking and started distractedly tracing swirls on his forearm. “ash, i’m not her. and i can’t replace her. so if you just want her back, i’m not the person you need.” bea shifted her head, moving off of ash’s chest so that she was in the crook of his arm instead, her face hovering over his. “but just so you know, i’ll still be here in the morning.”
tagged;; callie words;; 430 notes;; bea in a different light omgggg
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Post by ash on Aug 31, 2012 13:36:07 GMT -5
it seemed as though she kept fidgeting around as she talked. her fingers went from dancing up and down his arm to drawing circles before she moved off of his chest and into his arm. he sighed as she talked because that really wasn't what he had wanted her to understand at all. no, he didn't want sabrina back, he just wanted to keep the person he loved back, and he was losing bea, he knew he was slowly. she probably didn't feel the same way, she was more than likely just here for the safety of his home and she'd leave in the morning. sure, she said she'd stay with him even after that but he doubted the truth of that. she'd be gone, and she'd probably never want to see him again. his hands rubbed down his face, almost as though he was scrubbing every dirty thing off of him. too bad it'd take years for him to rid of all the terrible things he'd done. then he stopped and put his own hands on her shoulders holding her steady as he spoke in a slightly shaky voice.
"bea, if i wanted her i wouldn't even be with you right now. i want you more than i ever wanted her, and that's what scares me. i just, don't want you to leave me and you're so close to right now, i just know it." so there, he had spit out the truth. he let go of her shoulders and wrapped his arms around himself protectively. now she had him in her own hands, she could either take him in or finish him off. as much as he wanted her to choose the first one, he knew she'd probably take the chance to break his heart and leave him laying there. most girls did after all.
ooc: a bit better, ugh ash ash ash.
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Post by charlotte on Aug 31, 2012 15:55:52 GMT -5
his arms were now wrapped around himself, so childlike and vulnerable. she didn't want them there. she wanted them on her lower back, or her arms or her face, just so long as he was touching her, and she could feel his warm soft skin against hers. guilt instantly washed over. she had wanted to convince him that she was going to be around, but she seemed to have done the opposite and made him even more insecure. words weren't her thing. didn't they say actions speak louder than words and all that? god, he was stupid, she wasn't going to leave, but she couldn't voice the way she thought about him in order to tell him otherwise. she' never had to do the whole telling a guy who much she cared about them, and appreciate them, and wanted them around in her life before, so the words were stuck in her throat.
she had no intention of leaving. not now, and not as soon as she woke up either. she didn't care about what he had one, but what he was going to do. if from now on he'd just behave a little better, then that would do. but it was so humiliating to forgive him. it just made her seem so weak, so attached to him that she'd run back to him no matter what happened. she was shedding the independent persona she'd spent years creating, an she didn't want to be another one of the girls who hung off a guys every, idolising and worshipping and doing anything for him.
but she could be with him without being completely dependent on him right. they didn't need to be in contact with each other twenty-four seven, knowing where the other was at all times. she could still have her freedom. bea linked her fingers with his, pulling them away from his chest. she leant into his arms, her face level with his, noses so close they touched ever so slightly, and her hair falling down, tickling his collar bones. she let her mouth touch his, just so gently. by kissing him, she wasn't trying to avoid the conversation the conversation, but no words seemed to be able to convince him that she wasn't leaving. she pulled away from him, a slight smile lining her features. "i promise i'll be here in the morning. okay?
tagged;; callie words;; who knoooooows notes;; i'm sorry, it's pretty shabby
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Post by ash on Sept 1, 2012 1:28:39 GMT -5
he had just come completely clean to her, and all she offered in return was a gentle kiss and a few simple words. bloody brilliant. he sighed softly at her but didn't say anything, he needed some time to think before he opened his mouth again. his eyes tried to search her face, but it was so dark he couldn't even see her correctly. he may have scanned her eyes for clues about her emotions because even though she was saying she wouldn't leave, ash was still curious as to whether or not she felt the same way about him. however, since she was a psychology student, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close as if to say okay, even if everything really wasn't. he just didn't need her leaving again and he intended to hold her in place if it came to that. he kissed the top of her head softly and continued to think to himself as an unsettling silence filled the room.
how had he changed so much in so little time? he had been a bastard when he first met bea, he had no regards for other's feelings and he just wanted sex. he wanted it all the time, and got it all the time as well. now, he was basically in love again. he felt such strong feelings for the girl lying in his arms, yet he knew he was going to screw everything up again. it was just a giant circle of him screwing up, that's what his life was. either he'd screw it up himself or the tabloids would tear them apart. if they went public, the fans and paps would make sure to make her life a living hell, and ash didn't want her to go through that. the easiest option was to cut her out of his life for good, he'd have to be the one to leave her. that would rip him apart just as bad, and so he obviously didn't want that either. so what could he possibly do here? he let out a sigh again before speaking.
"but, what about after the morning?"
ooc: hrm not sure about this post at all
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Post by charlotte on Sept 1, 2012 13:09:34 GMT -5
she had noticed the sigh, even if his actions didn’t match up as he pulled her closer, kissing the top of the head. what bea had wanted to come across as charming and cute and spontaneous had seemed to him what it really was - a poor excuse for avoiding words. because bea wasn’t cute or spontaneous or charming. she had never let herself be those things because when did someone’s one night stand ever need to be those things? never ever. a one night stand didn’t even really need a personality. they were for one purpose: sex. just look hot and you were given the job. or if the guy was really really drunk, and then good looks weren’t essential since he’d have his beer goggles on. she closed her eyes, lying back down on ash’s chest, his arms around her so warm and protective. he wasn’t content with her answer, she could tell even though he hadn’t verbalised the fact. she didn’t want to hurt him, she really didn’t. but she had no idea what to tell him. she was still scared of being in a relationship, and there was no way her words would hide that fact. at least of now he hadn’t questioned her weak response, so she seemed to be getting away with it. she pulled the duvet up over her shoulders, before lying back down, cocooned in his arms. if she could just sleep like this tonight, it would just be blissful. she felt her eyes starting to close so slowly, sleep trying to consume her. and then ash’s voice cut through the sleepy silence.
and what could she tell him? how long would she be around? it wasn’t like she was planning on leaving him anytime soon, but it wasn’t like she was expecting huge things to come out of this relationship. it wasn’t like she even knew where she’d be in a few months time. sure, she was studying a degree, and she enjoyed it, but she didn’t love it. if a different offer came up she wouldn’t turn it down just because she was part way through being a psychology graduate. but that didn’t mean that she would ever purposefully hurt ash. she wasn’t trying to screw him over, or lull him into a sense of security and then just disappear. “ash…” she pulled herself up, out of his arms, and sat crossed legged next to his body, facing him. she pulled the duvet around her shoulders, leaving the majority of his body bare. “i don’t know what you want me to say here. all i know is i care about you a hell of a lot. i’m not just going to disappear, or fuck you over or something. you just need to trust me.” she guessed that wouldn’t be the answer she wanted, but she literally had no clue how she could reassure him that she didn’t have bad intentions. because she wasn’t in this to later screw him over and gloat to the press about it. but he just didn’t seem to understand that.
tagged;; callie words;; 515 notes;;fsdfhfgas ah man
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