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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 11, 2012 18:18:07 GMT -5
Smirking deviously, he merely shrugged his shoulders and winked in reply. "I guess you'll have to find out, won't you?" he answered, pulling the whole replying to a question with a question thing. In reality, Jimmy wouldn't have minding having a little private time with Alex, though he was doubtful he'd stay away through all of it. He'd been getting exhausted a lot more easily recently, and he made a mental note to figure out what was going on with him at some point. Other than the exhaustion, he didn't want to force Alex into doing something the boy didn't want to do. He was just as willing to take things slow. He wasn't going to use his birthday as an excuse to get what he wanted.
As soon as they were inside, he snuggled into Alex, hugging him close. Blinking in surprise at the shiver, and glancing at the other boy when he heard the whimper. Frowning slightly, he kissed Alex's forehead and pressed close. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." he assured, lacing their fingers together and dragging Alex away from the front door, off to the living room. Half-way there, he decided to carry Alex over to the couch and set him there. Jimmy popped in a movie and sat down, pulling a blanket around Alex and himself, cuddling close to him.
Eventually, halfay through the opening credits he pulled the other boy into his lap and snuggled close to him, gently kissing his head. He was beginning to get to this strange sweetness he had begun to exhibit. It had made him nervous at first, thinking there was something wrong with him, but now he was comfortable with it. He tried his best to convey that same kind of comfort to Alex, to try and calm the other boy. The movie was light and happy, so he hoped that would help a little bit.
[ooc: movie ]
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 11, 2012 19:06:03 GMT -5
Alex gave a shrug in a somewhat playful manner and wondered what was going to happen at the moment. Did the other boy want to take things slow? He didn't know if he did honestly, maybe some change was good. Change could be bad, but this didn't seem like anything could be wrong with it. It seems to him that nothing is, maybe that is so. Then he realized what Jimmy's nickname should be, it fitted the other boy perfectly. "Alright Prince Charming."
The blank stare was broken as Jimmy carried him over to the couch and put on Happy Feet Two. It was one of his favorite movies that he watched all the time, even if it was a little bit too old for him. "Thanks." This came out in a bit of a whisper, that could be barely heard. He found himself under the covers snuggling with Jimmy. A slight tear ran down his face as another blast of lightning struck far in the distance.
A slight shiver went through his body and he did something. It was at random completely, and in all fairness it was not something normal for the boy to do, but he leaned in and caught the other boy's lips. A shivers still ran through his body as he passionately kissed the other boy, and pressed the other boy on him. Even in the passion, Alex tried to be as gentle as possible. He really was scared of breaking the other boy, as if he was fragile. And maybe Jimmy was fragile.
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 11, 2012 19:41:36 GMT -5
He paused momentarily, realizing he'd just gotten his first nickname from Alex. Smiling slightly, he rolled his eyes ever so much. "Guess that makes you my princess then, huh?" he teased lightly as they settled down to watch the movie. Jimmy decided he'd try to set his wrist and wrap his ribs later on. He could take the pain, now that he'd grown used to physical and emotional pain thanks to the things he'd experienced in his life. He was still worried about Alex and his fears though, seeing a tear streak down the other boy's cheek and instincively brushing it away, kissing his cheek in an attempt to console him.
Eyes on the movie, he was caught off guard by the sudden kiss. Without complaint, he kissed back, tangling his fingers in Alex's hair and allowing himself to press closer. Hey, if this meant Alex was feeling better, so be it. Jimmy couldn't really argue with this, though he idly wondered about such a random action. Even through his surprise, he was still glad that the kiss was gentle. He wasn't sure how much he'd be able to take any more roughness this evening, thanks to that car.
Not to mention, in such a vunerable and unhealthy state, he bruised and broke bones easier than usual. Hell, his body was pretty much covered in bruises at the moment, and he'd already broken his wrist and a few ribs. He still wasn't sure just how many ribs had been broken. He was sure it was only two or so. Either way, it hurt to breathe, but he still breathed fast anyways, not sure where this sudden passion might be going. Jimmy slowly trailed kisses down to Alex's neck, letting his hands trail along the other boy's back and lay at rest around his waist. Wherever it went, he'd be happy just as long as Alex was happy.
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 11, 2012 21:20:49 GMT -5
Alex did a false curtsy when he was called a princess and gave a grin. He was a bit of a princess, and Jimmy seemed to approve of the nickname. His heart pounded in his own ear drums and something made him want to do something. Something more than before that he had done. It was Jimmy's birthday, right? And it was something that nice people do, to treat the other person to something. He slowly, as if it were to make the other boy wait, took off his clothes. First it was his polo, then it was his belt, then it trailed down to his jeans.
Ever so slowly they slipped onto the ground, until all of his clothing was off. A blush was on his face for a bit and he gave a small wink to the other boy as he kissed him softly, but still intensely. Did the other boy like this? He hoped that the other boy was enjoying it as much as he did. What if he did not find it suiting? For a second, it seemed as if he wasn't going to care about the feelings of the other boy. He felt self-concious about the whole thing, what if he sucked?
He tried his best to make this the best that anyone would do for the other boy, in his complete lifetime. His heart raced as if it were going to pop out of his chest, and he placed his hand there to keep it inside. He was exhilarated and flabbergasted with all of the emotions stirring.
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 12, 2012 16:39:38 GMT -5
Laughing lightly at the curtsy, he rolled his eyes with a small smile, unable to stop thinking just how adorable Alex was. Well, eventually he was able to stop thinking all together. His face flushed a bright, cherry red and he blinked. Jimmy felt the feelings from last night begin to gather, except it seemed more loving than lusty. He had to admit, the other boy was doing a pretty good job of teasing him. Arching an eyebrow playfully, he smirked. "Hey, if you're my birthday present, shouldn't I be unwrapping you?" he chuckled. He was relieved when his patience was awarded with a gentle kiss. He pressed closer, kissing back eagerly and deepening the kiss, softly carressing the other boy's sides.
Eventually it became evident that his clothes were getting in the way. He pulled back and tossed off his shirt, moving to his belt and pausing for a moment. He glanced at Alex and smiled before slowly undoing his belt and the buttons of his jeans, leaving them there for now, deciding he'd come back to them later. At the moment, he was just focused on the other boy. Leaning in, he pressed a delicate kiss to Alex's lips, huddling closer and wrapping his arms around the boy. Gently, he nipped the other boy's neck and giggled, being a tease like before. He brushed his lips lightly against the other's collarbone, feeling the same arousal from last night beginning to set in.
Jimmy was pretty sure of all his birthdays, this one topped the list. Just above the birthday his parents had accidentally left him at the circus, giving him just enough time to learn how to ride a unicycle, not that the skill would come in handy or anything. It was just fun. He idly wondered if maybe they should move to a private spot to keep Alex's parents from accidentally walking in on them again. Though he'd been too tired to care, he was pretty embarrased when he'd woken up. Well, embarrassed after all that fear had finally dissappeared. He didn't let it dampen the moment though, as he was enjoying this way more than he probably should have.
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 12, 2012 23:42:57 GMT -5
Alex gave a pleasant moan when the kiss was deepened and he felt the other boy against him. It was blissful, as if it were something that made him want the other boy, and there was. Hunger. Hunger was a normal feeling for all creatures, even the average human, and it was awoken once again from its slumber. It was tearing all of the thoughts that were trying to occur in his head from the source, and all that was on his mind was the feeling in his heart. That feeling when someone knows that they are in love, and a little less of sexual lust in comparison to love.
It was in the background the passion that was beheld in Alex's eyes at that very moment that Jimmy slowly took of his shirt as well. A blush once again came onto his face, ever so slightly to his skin. A bit of a smirk found itself on his mouth as he took a moment to breathe and said, "I love you." He pulled the other boy into the kiss once again, it was a little rougher than before. Jimmy's lips ghosted across his collarbone and a small moan once again escaped the lips of the innocent boy. Somehow, after that action had happened, he pushed the other on the couch. It was as soft as a push could be, and as gentle as a feather. He was a little scared he'd break the other boy at some point, he was fragile, right?
His heart was still racing like a horse, and it seemed to keep at the same rate as this happened. His body was telling Alex that it wanted more of the boy before him. It was telling him to go farther, to swim in an ocean that he hadn't been in before. Temptation was a feeling that took over his mind and soul, if an emotion could force someone to do something, that was what was definitely happening to Alex. The boy before knew not of how to do such things, and a quiet murmur was released, "So I bet this steals the cake?"
Alex was positive that he was doing this right, they were just where they were last night. Well before the other boy had collasped, when he thought that he somehow managed to murder Jimmy. That was a nice night, his first of many with the other boy. It would be quite memorable this night, of this he was sure. Something caught his attention: he needed to arrange something for the other boy, maybe even more than this. What about a party?
"That was nice." Alex breathed this out in large breaths after he had pulled away, he had to have a party for the other boy. It was something that you just do, even if it's a surprise. He wondered if Jimmy would like any of his friends that were girls; he knew that his friends always thought that bad boys were nice. Especially when they weren't that bad really.
[ooc: Muse was going nuts. Don't feel like you have to match it, really. <3]
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 13, 2012 20:21:53 GMT -5
Jimmy grinned, almost like a little kid, hazel eyes shining lovingly. "Love you back." he answered, nearly getting cut off at the end when he was caught in another kiss. He was relived that it was only a tiny bit rougher than before. It warmed his heart to think that Alex was considering the injuries he'd sustained. His heart fluttered in his chest, especially at the sound of the other moan. He blushed lightly, inwardly bragging to himself that he was able to produce that kind of reaction from Alex. With an ego as small as his, he was allowed to gloat every once in a while at least.
His face turned bright red and he fell back softly, looking up at the other boy with a seemingly vunerable expression. Jimmy smiled sheepishly, "I'd be lying if I said it didn't." he muttered back. He briefly thought back to the night before and his expression briefly changed to a frown, it looked like a simple twitch though. He really hoped he didn't get nearly as fatigued, but he couldn't be sure anymore. There was definitely something wrong with him. He made a note to get a check up at somepoint, though he definitely knew he was going to be faced with a lot of negative results. He trashed his body, and most of the time didn't care what he did to himself just as long as it sounded good in his head. He had been reckless, and karma was pretty close to catching up with him.
Nodding breathlessly once Alex had pulled away, he took deep breaths to regain the energy he'd lost in that kiss. "Yeah...that was awesome." he answered sincerely between breaths. Physically, he was a little paler, but he managed to keep the exhaustion away from him, focusing on spending this time with Alex, fully awake. Staring up at the other boy, a smile found it's way to his lips. He took a spare moment to revel in how much his life had changed in just two days. It kind of amazed him.
Leaning up, he caught Alex's bottom lip and delicately kissed him, knotting his fingers in the other's hair and pulling him closer, despite the lack of air he'd gotten in the last break. He allowed one of his hands to lightly trace down Alex's side and with it he hooked his fingers in the waist band of the younger boy's boxers. It was a harmless action, as he felt the need to almost cling to the other boy. It was a subconcious way of telling himself he'd never let anyone hurt Alex or steal the boy away from him. It gave him a little more peace in his currently hazy, racing mind.
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 13, 2012 21:11:58 GMT -5
Alex felt himself being caught once again, once he tried to regain focus of the party that was going to be planned. He closed his eyes once again and thought about the surprise party that needed to be arranged soon. Who doesn't have a party? Well, Jimmy, but that would be no more. That wasn't going to happen anymore; the other boy would have to have a party. It just was how Alex thought and how he worked; he couldn't imagine someone that he did know, not getting to have one or not wanting one.
A shiver came onto his body as he found his way to Jimmy's neck. "Your so s-sexy." The shiver was making him stutter a bit, due to the fact that this was so much. So much romance; it was awesome. It was unbelievable what this felt like, others had described such things, but he never thought it would be so great. Hunger once again was conveyed in his eyes, as he lost all sight of his thoughts. And of the plans he was making in his head before were erased almost completely.
For a moment, the thoughts that he lost had found him once again, once he returned to the other boy's face. It seemed like trailing upwards helped him think a bit. Alex tried to keep himself thinking and working at the same time, it almost seemed as if it were making him be a little more gentle with the other boy. Another kiss after he pressed the other boy just a little closer, was made. The feelings inside of him swarmed, he was becoming like a shark filled with hunger the more time he knew the other boy. Which wasn't that bad of a thing.
Balloon would be nice at the party wouldn't they? Should he invite Mary or Ashley? Maybe both would do the job. They were both fantastic at making great birthday parties, and adored Alex more than you would expect. Lots of people joked that they were nuts about him sexually, of course they weren't but they treated him like family. He kind of was to them, which was understandable due to the fact he knew both of the girls for a long time. More than most guys would even admit.
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 14, 2012 18:27:18 GMT -5
Nuzzling into Alex's neck, he couldn't help but grin at the compliment. It was a rare occurance for him to be complimented on anything. Hence the reason that unlike most boys, Jimmy did not have an ego. Gently nipping at the other boy's neck, he looked up at the other from under his eyelashes in a slightly seductive way. "Thanks." he answered. Playing with the ends of Alex's hair, he couldn't help but admire the younger boy's pretty blue eyes. He leaned up so that he was only a breath away from the other, a small smile keeping a static posistion on his lips. "Though you know, you're pretty beautiful yourself." he answered.
He meant it too. He loved the captivating feeling he got whenever he took the time to just stare and study the other's words and actions and expressions. Jimmy was normally a very quiet and reserved person who mostly just sat around people watching whenever he was on a smoke break or wasn't causing mischeif on the steets of london. Even at the loudest parties, he managed to be a wallflower. Sure, he had his share of wild and stupid party antics, but normally that was after someone convinced him into consuming enough alcohol to potentially throw his liver into shock. He enjoyed just watching people, as creepy and weird as it sounded.
Of course, he didn't think it was creepy. Weird, yes. Jimmy happened to live in a world of his own that managed to avoid most head on collisions with the rest of society. Everything to him was white noise, the talking, the parties, the cars that blared their horns at him when he walked across the street without looking. He normally ignored them, but every once in a while, he would obliviously tune into what everyone else was speaking of. It was hard to distinguish between the two, though. You could never tell if he was actually listening or if it was going in one ear and out the other. He normally wore his sunglasses...which had unfortunately met their untimely demise...but of which made it frustrating to try and read his expressions. His eyes normally did a great deal of expressing, and when they were covered, well, there just wasn't any sure way to tell what was going on.
Every once in awhile he enjoyed messing with people like that. It killed his friends back in Lower East. Though, his friends usually had the guts to rip the sunglasses right off his face, a gesture which indefinitely pissed him off to no end. But they were friends, and they were the only family he had left. And families fought all the time. He'd only managed a few fights with his friends, but some had indeed gotten violent, some to the point of where Jimmy found himself grappling on the ground, kicking and scratching and punching, bleeding involved as well. But that was just a normal occurance. They usually stood up, got over it, and went on as if nothing had happened.
There were other instances where he found his head being grinded into a brick wall or a chain link fence, and sometimes those fights got serious enough to involve switchblades. They hadn't lasted long though, because by that time the other punks stepped in and broke up the fight before anyone got seriously hurt. Not that he would've minded. After all he'd been through, his pain tolerance had become pretty high. Hence the reason he wasn't making a big deal out of the broken wrist or the ribs that hurt him with every breath. He couldn't complain, because after all, the burn on his back had been enough to teach him what real pain was.
Thinking of pain, he habitually reached up and fiddled with his earrings, completely unfocused on what he'd been doing before. While physical pain was bad, emotional pain could be ten times worse. He idly thought of what kind of emotional pain he might sustain, should Alex ever change his mind. Jimmy noted that the other boy was young. How young, hell he didn't have a clue, but he knew that when he'd been younger, he'd been impulsive. He was still just as impulsive now. What if the boy were to decide he wanted someone...more average? What if the other boy decided he liked girls better than boys? Even just thinking about it made his heart sink and his hazel eyes darken. He lost eye contact and avoided that beautiful blue gaze the best he could.
[ooc: Seriously, you don't have to match this xDD It's 760 words long. And poor Jimmy... </3]
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 14, 2012 22:45:17 GMT -5
Alex's heart began to rhythemically pump a little faster, if that was even possible, when he got his own compliment that he was beautiful. Of all the things that he was paid congrats for, looks weren't one of them; usually he was fawned over by girls due to the fact that he let his emotions shine through. They were a beacon of, well, all of the things that he felt daily. Usually the recipe for the many feelings was: joy, sadness, a bit of pain, and empathy. One of the oddest things about this, very naive boy, is that he picked up on the cues that people gave out. Like a depressed person, he knew, so he felt that way as well, somewhat like he was trying to feel it for them.
"Your welcome, thank you." A slight blush arose on his cheeks and he still felt the fire in his soul burning. It still was feeling passion and desire towards the other boy which made for hunger. Hunger was something that for awhile, was taking over all of the innocent fellow's mind completely. Now he was fighting a war with himself, to think clearly. It was so that the other boy would have the best birthday that he could provide. What was Lindsay's number again, could he ask Ashley to tell her for him? He knew that the two girls had a connection with him, they were sort of best friends, the three of them.
His close friends always found a way to make him feel special about being the way he was. Being that sensitive soul that always found his own way to tears; whether the were shed over joy or suffering of himself or even others. If he could change himself, more than likely that would be his priority to alter. Sometimes caring hurt, a lot more than it should. It makes sense of course that it did, but nevertheless you would expect more would come from feeling such things. What would Jimmy alter if he had the chance? Alex felt that the boy he was with; was the perfect person that you could be. That Jimmy had simply achieved complete perfection.
Alex always achieved to make everyone happy in his life, at some point you would think it would be about himself. It hadn't ever really had been; not even once. It was all about making people smile and seeking praise from his own peers. He was almost sure that Jimmy never had felt that way. That the other boy didn't know what giving in was like; he practically was forced to become more worldly, in a way. He was pressured into having alcohol, it wasn't that he seeked to try it. It was about making his guy friends accept him; to be part of the crowd.
Jimmy then started to look away, this registered as worry to him this or of shame, from experience. In the past when he had helped some of his girl friends after they had intercourse with a guy. They called themselves sluts, and he helped console them. Shame was in their eyes, as well as worry for what it could do to them. Physically or socially it could devastate them entirely, leaving them in shambles. Alex gently grabbed the other boy with his hand, turning the other to face him, and asked, "What's wrong?" He felt worry about the topic, what if the other boy wasn't sure about them? Both of them made steps together, very quickly, maybe even impulsively you could say.
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 14, 2012 23:37:51 GMT -5
His friends always managed to drag him into their favorite game. The main objective was simply to find flaws in eachother. He'd had a few laughs, but even after the game had ended, Jimmy couldn't help but point out the obvious about himself. He was too pale, too skinny, his nose was upturned in a slightly strange angle, and numerous other defects he found in himself. His temper, his lack of care, his problem with needles. Seriously, who was afraid of needles? He was the only one he knew of that had such an irrational fear. He could almost take up three whole pages if he were to write down complaints about himself.
He didn't have any stationary beliefs or trusts in anybody. Beliefs were contradictory, and you could never be sure what was right and what was wrong. What if this, what if that? What if second chances existed? He had enough free time as it was, and he tried his best to avoid pondering the universe. He was aware of how crazy it would make him, because even though he barely knew himself, he had enough knowledge to know that he wouldn't be able to let it be without an answer. Jimmy was a stubborn ass, another quality his friends enjoyed pointing out about him.
The term "friends" was used very loosely. Jax, Elena and maybe even Marie were really the only friends he had, and they were all older than him. They always treated him like their kid brother, minus Marie, who had some kind of crush on him. Most of the guys he knew and hung around with were really, really bad guys. Bad to the point of where he'd definitely never take Alex anywhere near them. The people he knew would spit in your face and not even heasitate. They'd insult you, tear you down, pretend to build you back up again and then deal a final blow to your self esteem.
Jimmy had felt that kind of torment before. He'd decided he didn't trust praises people gave him. He'd learned the hard way not to let people do that to him. Most of his adaptations were only to protect him from getting hurt. While a lot of it seemed like he was always cautious or on the offensive, he was actually, contrary to popular belief, just trying to defend himself. After feeling as much pain as he had, he had reasons to let the boys talk him into a few drinks, he had reasons not to trust anybody. Everything he did had some kind of reason behind it.
Doing his best to evade eye contact, he was forced to look at the other boy, feeling his heart break at the thought of never seeing those eyes again. But what if it wasn't Alex who did the heartbreaking? What if Jimmy, for god knows what reason, decided to cheat or something stupid like that? What if he broke a promise? What if he was killed? He frowned at the thoughts, and tried to escape them, wriggling out from underneath Alex and wincing in pain at the strain that action took on his broken rib. Buttoning up his jeans, he threw his shirt back on and slumped against the wall.
"I can't do this." he murmured, burying his head in his hands. "I'm going to hurt you." he cried. Actual tears glided down his cheek, making this the first time he'd cried since...well forever. "I need to leave. I need to leave you alone, and never come back. I've ruined my life, I'm not going to ruin yours."
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 15, 2012 0:14:35 GMT -5
Alex found himself cradling the other boy and looking into Jimmy's eyes. "That's bullshit. I want to be with you, and I know we are meant to be. " He covered up his mouth, as if it was something that a normal person wouldn't do. Then again, he never did describe himself as really, 'normal', mostly it was just sensitive. Cry-baby. Push-over. Drama queen. Words just kept coming and coming, of how much he was, what he was. All of these described who he was, and the worst of the largest trait that was the biggest part of his life.
"Please, please fucking trust me. I think that we are meant to be, and I want you to stay." He clamped onto the other boy's arm and just tried to calm the other down. Why was this happening? Why did the world have to crash that he had planned for them? All Alex knew is that he wasn't going to let go this easily. Not now, not ever. Simple as that may seem, it was a promise to himself. And he knew that he might just regret that someday, maybe even sooner than he had thought.
A look was conveyed in the eyes that were his. It was of pure shock, and even a bit of frustration, but most of all, it was of love with a bit of hopelessness. He didn't like not being able to make the other person happy. To be able to suit the other adequately, because he loved pleasing others. He was a puppy dog seeking to have a good affrimation or something of that sort, just wanting praise from everyone. All of the time.
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 15, 2012 0:46:14 GMT -5
"What if you change your mind?" he asked, tears still staining his face. Curling away from the other boy, he wrapped his arms around himself, as if trying to protect his heart from any wounds it might sustain. His black hair had fallen into his eyes and he glanced at Alex with doubtful, watery hazel eyes. Despite the protection he tried to ensure by hugging himself, he felt an immistakable pain in his chest, but knew that it was better to just leave Alex alone instead of tainting the other boy with anymore of his worldly thoughts and actions. He felt horrible and sick and disgusting for trying to spread his misery on to other people.
Jimmy shook his head, more in denial than in doubt. It was one of those moments where he tuned it all out. All this was going in one ear and out the other. He jerked away from the other's grip, still shaking his head. "No...no no no. You'll change your mind. You will. Everyone else did, and you will too. You'll get annoyed with me, and then you'll hate me." he sputtered, not even making any sense to himself anymore. He crawled away, getting to his knees and wiping his eyes, glancing at Alex. "You're too perfect for me. I don't deserve you." he whispered.
"And I don't love you." Still not knowing or fully understanding what it meant, he stood up and grabbed his jacket, walking on shaky feet towards the door. His head hung and his shoulders slumped in shame, but he managed to open the front door with a last glance at Alex as he left. His whole body felt numb, and he regretted what he'd done, but he knew it couldn't be undone now. Alex probably hated him, but he knew it was better off that he left the boy alone. He walked the long way back to his flat, ignoring Marie's concerned questions and going upstairs immediately to collapse on the bed and allow his body to be wracked with sobs.
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Post by chewiebub5 on Sept 15, 2012 1:08:37 GMT -5
Alex recoiled when he heard the magical words of 'I don't love you' were said. It was the only way that you could make him back off completely, tears were found. He felt like a fool, the other boy didn't know that he wouldn't hurt him. Jimmy was gone, it was over. They were over. They weren't anything, there wasn't a them, there was an Alex though, and a Jimmy. It took a lot for him to wrap his head around not being with the other boy in a relationship, it was unbelievable. It was out of this world.
Alex held his head and just screamed into a pillow, allowing the many tears that he held earlier. It had taken a lot of effort not to let them loose, he did this so the other boy might stay. It was a strategy to try to make the other want to not leave. Not to just walk out the door, maybe if he had it would have helped. It was a loud scream, even if it was a bit muffled. His parents came into the room and stroked his hair, knowing what had happened immediately. The other boy, had left him in shambles and now he was all alone.
Alex, after a large amount of time just sobbing, decided that he needed to make a change. Something that would get him another Jimmy, or something like that. Maybe this time he could get the other boy to stay or something of that sort. Was that possible? He didn't know in all honesty, and had to bank on the chance that it was true. He ran into the bar and found his friends from last night. Doing stupid things was something attractive, not caring right? That would make someone stay, make them not so distressed that they would leave him. Maybe that would make a difference.
The guys at the bar gave him a pat on the back for deciding to do something better. To party and have some fun; taking some risks. They didn't have to guess what was wrong, but they didn't seem to care a bit. Yet one did seem to want to know who the boy was, and they accepted the fact that he was gay openly. It was alright as long as he partied and had some fun. Tonight, a new Alex would be reborn. Better and a lot more suitable now, more equipped to make those that he felt for to stay. And Alex didn't care about his own life or safety. That didn't matter the least for him, not at all. Who really cared what happened to the boy? He didn't and Jimmy didn't, so what did it matter?
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Post by JIMMY DANGER REGALL on Sept 15, 2012 7:21:45 GMT -5
After awhile, the tears slowly stopped falling and he was just curled up in a gloomy corner of the wall. Marie had told on him, he knew, because Elena came to visit shortly after he'd returned home. He couldn't feel or hear or see anything though. He was sensless, utterly depressed, and maybe even a little bit suicidal. Jimmy was aware of what he'd done, and he knew it would be better. It would keep him from hurting Alex, and it could keep him from getting hurt himself. But why did seperation have to cause just as much pain? Elena didn't force him to talk. She just sat on the edge of his bed, gently stroking his hair and decided it was better just to be there for him than to say anything to him.
He would've been thankful, but the feelings of self-hate, anxiety and depression didn't retreat. She was smart to have taken the switchblade out of his pocket before he could do anything too stupid. It was about four in the morning before he was able to halfway function normally. He sat up, wiped his tears away, and allowed Elena to help clean him up. A glance at himself in the mirror gave him a good idea of why. His eyes were red and swollen from so many tears, and they held a heartless look in them. His skin was paper pale, paler than before, and his hair was a ragged, matted mess. She helped wrap up his broken wrist, and at least try to bandage his ribs. There wasn't much she could do besides try, because no matter what you did, a broken rib hurt.
Jimmy was given some clothes, whose he wasn't sure. They could've belonged to him, but he had a habit of snagging Jax's shirts. Showering, changing, and returning to Elena, she simply gave him a comforting hug, to which he tensed up in reaction. He pulled away and walked out the door coldly, not having to look to hard before finding one of the parties that made lower east so famous. He avoided the bar, and stood in the lighted alleyway where tons of bodies were almost to close to be able to move. Green Day played in the background, and he found himself a nice, lonely place inside the party thrower's livingroom. Most parties thrown ended up in the alleyways at some point of the night. It was dumb to try and keep everyone inside.
He smoked a few ciggarettes, drank a few drinks, avoided flirting and evaded his friends. Jax, he was aware, was keeping an eye on him to make sure that jumping off the bridge didn't cross his mind, not like it mattered to him. All he cared about was Alex, and how much he'd hurt the boy, and that look in his eyes when Jimmy had said "I don't love you". Not to mention, if the thought presented itself, he was pretty confident he could make it half off the bridge before Jax even got there. He was faster than most people should have been, and Jax was the stronger one. Though, just as he thought that, he was picked up and slung over the older boy's shoulder, getting dragged back to his house. He was compliant about it though. He continued to be haunted by the look on the younger boy's face at those words.
They reached Jimmy's apartment, and he was set on the bed, bursting right back into tears and sobs, shaking and huddling into the corner. He was aware of Elena and Jax, now joined by Marie, talking in the background. He cried out and Elena sat next to him again, hugging and petting his hair. He wasn't listening still. He was numb and cold and broken, and he couldn't force himself to focus. Jax and Marie left after a long conversation about something, and after a little persuasion, he managed to get Elena to leave. It had to have been about eight in the morning before he finally moved again. He walked shakily to the bathroom, finding a pair of scissors and cutting his black hair, which until that point had fallen just to his shoulders and curled a little bit.
He cut almost all of his long hair off, instead wearing his hair short and black and in his eyes a little. It was uneven, but it didn't look horrid. He stared blankly at the mirror, a matching pair of heartless hazel eyes glaring back at him. For a moment, the rage overwhelmed him and he drove his fist into the mirror, breaking it almost immediately, and watching as the blood and the shards of glass hit the floor. He took one and did the only thing he could think to do. He slit his wrists. Though, it was a failed attempt. Marie, who he guessed was monitoring him from the floor below, came in and found him bleeding on the bathroom floor. She cleaned up his wrists and winced when she saw what he'd done to his hair. Jimmy couldn't care though. All he cared about was Alex.
- days later -
The days continued on like this, and eventually he'd faked his way out of being monitered by his friends, pretending that he was okay. Throwing out fake, meaningless smiles and forced laughter. As it turned out, the others appreciated his short hair more than his long hair. He awoke early, stared at the wall for about two hours and then went off to brush his teeth and get a shower. Jimmy showed no emotion, just got dressed, wrote in his journal, and painted a little. Marie had given him a few paints and a canvas to try and let out the emotions which he now lacked. It had ended up as a depressing painting, and he left it alone to go out and get some coffee. Coffee always helped, or at least tried.
[ooc: 993 words xDD You don't have to write that much, I promise.]
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